Sunday, August 16, 2015

Voyage of the Fox Rider Chapter 2

[Six Months Past]

Dammit, is there a reason why everything is in the past? Why not just have this be the present, and then continue?!

And McKiernan has NO problem with timeskips so... what the fuck?


In a small cottage on the outskirts of Kairn, the city on the island of Rwn, an eld Man—that is, with his white hair and beard he appeared to be an eld Man—

rips out hair

Is he old or not?! Is he a man or not?!

sigh Calm, calm, focus. He's apparently looking at stars through an astrolabe, when someone knocks at the door.


into the springtime spangle of the nighttime heavens above.

... ow. I just tried to read that out loud, and now my tongue is in a knot.


Again came the tapping on the door.

“Go away!”
Softly, softly, another tap sounded in the darkened room.
“I said, go away! I am busy!”

"I don't want any fucking copies of the Watchtower! Get lost!"

But he gets up, writes down a note about... the stars, or whatever. And then he goes off to answer the door, grumping like Grunkle Stan the whole way.


—“Not enough that the hearthlights and street lanterns from the city interfere, but now some fool has to come along and...”

... is it weird that I imagine this guy being played by DeForest Kelley?



Also, hearthlights aren't really a source of light pollution, because that means you're bitching about INDOOR FIRES. Street lamps aren't that bright either. And since we're later told that this is an entire island occupied by WIZARDS, I'm not sure why they're not using witchlight or something. We later see a drunk mage using his glowy hand to navigate in the dark, so clearly that doesn't require a lot of mojo!

So he opens the door and TA-DA! There's a teeny tiny person the size of a Barbie, but presumably with more realistic proportions.



She's also dressed in gray, which is weird because it doesn't help her blend in because... she has a fox with her. A red fox. I could understand the gray if she were riding a gray fox, but she's not.


Nevertheless, she squared her shoulders and asked, “Are you Alamar the Mage?”

"And have you heard about Jesus?"


Though high-pitched, her voice came softly.

... sort of like a power drill.


“Hmph! I never thought to see a Pysk on my doorstone.”


Pysk? Sounds like a sneeze.


“Oh, I’m so glad. My name is Jinnarin”—she gestured toward the fox—“and Rux and I have come a long way to find you. You see, Farrix is missing.”

"And for some reason, flying saucers keep buzzing my house. It's weird."

No comments:

Post a Comment