Friday, August 14, 2015

Twilight Guide - Joham and the Vampire Hybrids

Joham is the father of the four known human/vampire hybrids in existence aside from Renesmee.

Yet somehow none of them ended up coming to the attention of other vampires until Alice decided to go scouting around for them. That seems… UNLIKELY.

With four different human women, he fathered three daughters and one son, Nahuel.

Wait… does that mean… he had sex with people who WEREN'T HIS SOULMATE?! Doesn't that mean he should be vilified by all around him as a shameless slut?


Oh wait, this is Twilight. So while Tanya is treated like shit for her normal sex life, a MALE having sex for purely cold, experimental reasons, which he KNOWS will be fatal to his sex partners, is fine.

All of Joham‘s daughters are on relatively friendly terms with their father and consider him their coven leader for all intents and purposes, though they don‘t travel with him.

Well, of course. He's a male, so his female offspring should slavishly follow him around and worship him, even if they know that they are merely experiments to him. Only a mighty Man-With-A-Penis can defy another mighty Man-With-A-Penis!

Nahuel, the only hybrid capable of effecting a vampire transformation,

Ohferfuksake. Is Smeyer seriously suggesting that only male hybrids are capable of turning other people into vampires? WHY? What possible reason would there be, since vampirism doesn't seem to have any basis on gender? Do vampire hybrids turn people with their genitals?!

Or is it just that he's the only one who HAS turned someone else into a vampire?!

He is not on good terms with Joham.

Christmas is awkward at Joham's house.

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