Friday, August 14, 2015

Twilight Guide - Twilight Vampires

Vampires, the central supernatural creatures of the Twilight Saga, have existed in myths and local lore for centuries.

... but all those unsexy ideas are WRONG! Rotting corpses? WRONG! Clawed hands? WRONG! Fangs necessary for actual blood drinking? WRONG! The only REAL vampires are sexy marble models!

While the Saga‘s vampires share certain similarities with the vampires of legend,

Like being... cold. And drinking blood. There the resemblance ends.

they have many more unique characteristics and supernatural abilities that are specific to the world of Twilight.


And being annoying. And totally devoid of any culture except modern American. And all being "perfectly" white. And all being douchebags. And ripping off the least sexy attribute of Anne Rice's vampires. And dressing like magazine models in Vogue. And... you get the idea.

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