Friday, August 14, 2015

Twilight Guide - The Volturi Guard - Felix

DATE OF BIRTH: Unknown
DATE OF TRANSFORMATION: Unknown
...
PLACE OF ORIGIN: Unknown


MAKE SOMETHING UP. What is the point of a "guide" if it doesn't give you any new information, and just pukes up the stuff you already know! Or is Smeyer too lazy to just pick a number and a place?!

It's bad enough that this drippy bitch refuses to write any actual backstory for the minor characters. This is even worse!


Felix is very tall and muscular. His pale skin has a slight olive cast.

I suspect that Stephenie "My Vampires Lose All Skin Pigmentation, Becoming White and Delightsome" Meyer has never met an olive-skinned person.


SPECIAL ABILITIES: He does not possess a quantifiable supernatural ability.

But he's really good at shadow puppets.


FAMILY/COVEN RELATIONSHIPS: Guard members show the Volturi the loyalty they would family.

Because you just decide that tyrannical overlords are your family. That's just how it works.

Family dinner, mother holding platter with roast on it

he is physically the strongest vampire that the Volturi have encountered.

... wait, so Aro turned him into a vampire because he was a muscleman? Or did Aro just randomly turn people so he could figure out what they could do later?

I AM SO CONFUSED.


Felix is a part of most of the Volturi‘s punitive missions. When there are larger threats,

... he leaves severed horse heads in naughty vampires' beds.

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